Hey Democrats, Stop Trying to Kill Our Guy

I was watching and re-watching hilarious videos of Hezbollah members having their scrotums blown off by 1990s technology as beepers in their front pockets detonated, when my phone blew up with news of a bomb allegedly found in a car near the Nassau Coliseum. That's where Trump is giving a speech tonight on Long Island.

FACT-O-RAMA! At least 12 members of Hezbollah were sent to their 72 virgins sans testicles.

11/11 Operation Beeper Stats:
- 4,000 Hezbollah terrorists injured
- 400 Seriously injured
- 11 Terrorists eliminated
- 500 lost their eyesight
This is a big hit on Hezbollah. pic.twitter.com/FrVxh7R6oI
— Herman Moore (@HermanM50891526) September 18, 2024

This is to be Trump's first big rally since a Democrat tried to shoot him on his own golf course, marking the second attempt to kill him. Or the third attempt, if we count the Pakistani clown with ties to Iran who was just busted for planning to kill Trump. I'm not counting the alleged explosives found at tonight's rally yet, as that hasn't been confirmed.

FACT-O-RAMA! Nassau County Police Commissioner Patrick Ryder assured the nation that Nassau Coliseum "will be the safest place in the country on that day, Wednesday."

If the Democrats, deep state, and uniparty are so secure with their candidate, why do they want to kill Trump? Because they know they are losing. Also, communists believe assassinating Trump is not only acceptable but virtuous.

FACT-O-RAMA! As our own Matt Margolis reported, 28% of Democrats believe the nation would be better off if Trump were to be assassinated.

As per Nate Silver, Trump is now officially beating the potato salad out of Kamala Harris, and I suspect fear is setting in:

BREAKING: New electoral college model, according to Nate Silver (no tossup).

Trump - 312
Harris - 226 pic.twitter.com/efn3d7a9Zj
— Leading Report (@LeadingReport) September 16, 2024

I believe the globalist commuNazi hybrids looking to enslave We the People are in the process of normalizing political assassination. Nothing says "don't f*ck with us" like a video of Trump taking a fatal bullet played across the Operation Mockingbird media outlets for days.

I also believe the smelly, simply-faced incel who almost took out Trump in Butler, Pa., was the deep state's "A-team." The wacko who stalked Trump on the golf course in Florida was likely a berserker responding to the Democrat rhetoric that Trump is a naughty Nazi who wants to "end democracy."

THE AMAZING EXPLODING MUSLIMS UPDATE: If you enjoyed watching Hezbelloh members lose their Jihadi bean bags to exploding pagers, you might giggle watching their walkie-talkies blow up in their faces. (Quick, Hamas: throw out all your iPods!)

BREAKING: Walkie-talkies explode at Hezbollah funeral in Lebanon, per X.

The blasts occurred during the burial of four operatives killed previously. Casualty details are still emerging as investigations begin into the explosions. pic.twitter.com/UeL53RTpXk
— Globe Of Shame (@GlobeOfShame) September 18, 2024

Democrats are either too stupid to realize that every attempt to imprison or assassinate Trump makes him more popular, or they are so hateful they can't keep themselves from trying anyway.

Here we are, three assassination attempts in two months. I feel that if, God forbid, the animals were to succeed and kill Trump, there would be a 9/11-like, nationwide explosion of patriotism that would sweep the Republican Party into offices nationwide and all but render the Democrats extinct. There would also be the possibility of serious civil upheaval, which is likely exactly what the pinkos want.

FACT-O-RAMA! Soviet defector Yuri Bezmenoz warned us of the commies' four-point plan to conquer the U.S. without a war. Point three is "Crisis," a six-week-long episode of "violent change of power, structure, and economy.” Point four is "normalization," the beginning of communism.

The lizard people aren't smart enough to recognize Trump for what he is, a movement that won't be stopped by a bullet.

That said, please tell your pink-haired demi-gender-in-law to put on zhis big-boy panties, stifle zhis hatred, and stop trying to kill Trump. And while you're at it, ask zhim if zhe wants a pager. All the cool commies are carrying them again, and leftists hate testicles anyway.

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